This picture here is the last real one of me in public before the pandemic. I was on spring break in Nashville, oblivious to what my life would like in the following week. That is what I would tell myself before the beginning of this pandemic: handle with care.
You might not need to hear this but I do: self care is not selfish. If you spend some time around me at all, you know that I am the poster child for the Enneagram 2. I don’t say that as a crutch or my identity but as a starting place to better understand and grow myself. One thing I really struggle with is taking care of myself. I feel so much for others and care so much for others but I forget to do this for myself. This post is first in a series called “Handle with Care”, where I will highlight how to generously tend to different aspects of your life.
Part of me thinks that self care is selfish because I am not serving others. I strongly believe that part of my calling is to serve others. However, an essential component of serving others is giving to myself first. We’ve all heard the concept of how you can’t pour from an empty cup thing. But it is more than that. You have to see yourself as a cup. You have to realize that you’re a vessel crafted by God purposefully with intention to be filled and poured out for others. I don’t need to relax and take a bath to be able to serve others well. I need to see myself as a full expression of God’s creativity and love that has been designed to build his kingdom. This is what self care and self love is to me.
When God made us He handled us with so much care, the utmost, and still does. He designed you from the very beginning and knit you together in your mother’s womb. Why would you not allow yourself to get to know who God created when he took the time to design you and love you?
So with that being said, that is why I think self care is more than a glass of wine and a rom-com (as much as I love the both of those). It means not denying yourself parts of yourself. This could be a variety of reasons: fear, discomfort, apathy, etc. But you have thoughts and emotions for a reason and yep, you guessed it, you need to handle them with care. This means when you feel something don’t just bury that feeling, hold it and lean into it, even if it is just for a bit.
This goes for the good and the not so good. You need to handle each with care, because they are a part of you.
For me, I know I need to work on placing emphasis on the moments of joy, especially the little joys. The little joys for me are a sweet text message from a friend, putting on a brand new dress, eating something really good (this week it was a fresh picked tomato), when a pair of earrings matches your pants perfectly (depicted above). I am working on having more of these little joys in my life and not just having them but recognizing and handling that feeling of joy with care as I experience it.
It is also sitting with the not so joyous feelings and figuring out the whys behind them. Recently I have been discovering that in order to have less of those feelings, I need to set up boundaries for myself. This looks different for everyone. It can look like letting people in more, or having tough conversations, sometimes it can even look like reevaluating relationships. I think this is one of the hardest parts of self care because it is caring enough for yourself to do what is best for yourself.
It’s not the face mask, it’s not buying the new dress, it is prioritizing yourself enough to let yourself have a moment to enjoy your own presence. It is being emotionally healthy and taken care of so that you can enjoy all of those fun things that bring you joy and rest!
It’s enjoying God’s presence, he enjoys yours. Just knowing who you are and being a child of God and letting Him fill you with that truth. It’s not fluff and it’s not just to make you feel better, it’s the gospel, it’s the Holy Spirit, it’s transformative.
Some practical tips for this is I like to track in my calendar the things I do for myself. It’s a visual way to hold myself accountable. It’s also cool to track and see how much better my moods are because of it. I track things like my quiet time with God, my movement, my fruit and veggie intake, contemplative prayer and mindfulness and also things I do for fun!
You’ve only been given this one life and you’re the only you that you’ll ever get so please handle with care.
Thanks for reading the first in the Handle with Care series! I appreciate it more than you know! Please be sure to check back in to read the rest of the series. To do this you can subscribe to my brand new newsletter right below this! The newsletter also includes a fun free downloadable inspired by the pictures from this post and goes along with this series that you won’t want to miss out on!
With much love & many blessings,
Jill
Outfit Details
Pants (on sale now!)
